DAY 0

At around July 3rd, 5:40 AM, I walked down the the stairs of the apartment I
call home, carrying a guitar case, a laptop bag, and a large suitcase which
housed my clothes, toiletries, pedalboard, and miscellania I felt necessary to
bring along with me to Pittsburgh. I had spent the last couple of hours
sleepless, waiting for the sun to rise so I could make my leave before my family
woke up and discovered I snuck out. I killed the time by calling over my friend
Eric, and we went together to a local Wawa to get something to eat and talk
about life. By the time he dropped me off and went home, I still had another
hour or two to kill, which I spent gearing myself up, taking a shower, and
talking to Gwyn - a good friend who was going to room with us and would prove
to be a very important backline for the trip's overall success. She was getting
ready to make the flight from Kansas over to Pittsburgh, where she'd meet up
with our friend Dusk - who would drive in from Ohio - to pick me, Bea, Cecily
and Socks up from Union Station in about 15 hours from then. After making my
commute to the Port Authority Bus Terminal on 8th and 42nd, I made my way down
8th Avenue lugging my bags, focused on arriving at the Moynihan at 8th and 33rd.

Finding a corner at the train hall for me to camp out in, I struggled for hours
on end to stay awake until the rest of the travel party arrived. I distracted
myself the best I could with the devices I had on me, holding in my need to pee
so that I wouldn't have to lug everything I had to a restroom, until the group
finally arrived at around 10 AM. By that point, me and Bea had already hung out
countless times, Cecily I had only seen once or twice beforehand for rehearsals,
and it was the first time I had met Socks in person. After some coordinated
restroom visits, we checked in and got onto the line for the train to
Pittsburgh. There were a lot of furries in the line and eventually a lot of
furries sitting around us when we made it into the train. It felt nice to be
surrounded by fellow critters.

Unfortunately, however, the train ride was less than smooth. I struggled to
sleep on the train, so I was anxious. When I get anxious, I get loud. When I get
loud, I tend to prove an annoyance those around me. In what would prove to be a
misfortune, the brunt of my annoyance would be none other than Cecily Renns, who
even in her patience proved to get worn down and increasingly fed up with me.
A couple of hours into the trip, my mother would finally call me. Being in the
state of daze I was in, I was in no condition to talk to her directly, so I sent
her a text vaguely telling her that I had gone on the trip. She wasn't exactly
opposed to my pilgrimage to Anthrocon, however what she took issue with was me
going for the entire con's duration - something she had only revealed weeks
before the trip and after I had already paid for hotel and transport. She wanted
me to take a bus on the 5th, missing out on much of the con and time spent with
friends, and refused to reimburse me for the money that had already been spent
on the trip. Sneaking out was never part of the plan until a few days before,
after my final attempt to convince her to let me go as-planned fell through.

By the time we got to Pittsburgh I was anxious, restless, and admittedly losing
my grip on reality. My lack of sleep combined with the stress of going behind
my mother's back to go on the trip was taxing on my psyche. The party had
booked two hotel rooms: one with two beds, where me, Cecily, Bea and Socks
would be staying; and one with just one bed, where Gwyn and Dusk would take
residency. After we were driven to the hotel room by Dusk and Gwyn, checked in,
and ate, everyone was insisting I go to bed due to my visibly frantic state. I
was resisting the urge for reasons which to this day I'm unsure of what they
were. I eventually laid in the bed though, rambling to myself nonstop. The
rambling and the noise in my head built up and more and more and culimated in
the form of an anxiety attack. The last thing I remember was Bea getting in bed
with me and holding me close, which calmed me down enough to finally get some
rest for the first time in nearly 48 hours.